16:49 December 26, 2010

OED CUTTING ENGLISH

Oxford University, England - The Oxford English Dictionary has announced it is removing thousands of core English words to make room for expanding cyberjargon. The words removed include many in common usage, including 'gullible', 'naive', and 'foolish'.

Professor s. C. Lewis, one of the curators of British English, explained, "While the internet generates thousands of new words each year, the dictionary is already full. So words in use for centuries have to go to make way for today's more popular words like "defriend' and 'smart phone'. Kind of sad, really.

"We cant print any larger volumes as they already overflow a standard desk. Quite frankly, the OED has become a workplace hazard. Prof. Johnson sprained his ankle this sprint when the final volume fell on his foot."

Professor Lewis did not seem receptive to the idea of keeping the dictionary online. "We cant have an entire language simply based on computers. What if they all went down one day?"

When asked, "What can people do when they need to use a word like gullible?", Prof Lewis responded:

"Well you see that bit you said at the end there isnt a word, its just gibberish so I cant very well answer your question. It used to be a word. But it isnt anymore, so I cant really acknowledge what youre talking about.

"We have to be careful not to cut any vital words, like 'and' or 'the' or we'll have a devil of a hard time talking."