23:41 May 23, 2011

Dear Misters Hanna and Barbera, respectively,

Sirs ! I empart this correspondence to both praise you with one hand and to scold with the other your most interesting presentation, The Great Grape Ape Show. This show both entices and fulfills with exhuberent whimsy, imparting lessons both moral and esoteric, not to mention the excellent entertainment value therein carried. However, Sirs, I would implore you to consult with your designated experts concerning the adherence to physical law in such cartoons! While aspects such as a beagle that talks -- and has been given license to operate a motor vehicle -- are to be expected in the genre, and even the implausible event of lifting up an entire jail and placing it over suspected criminals with its structural integrity intact may be lent (however reluctantly) some creedence, I find it impossible to suspend disbelief that a forty foot ape could leap on to a cargo van, still in motion, without any impact to the detriment of the vehicle. Using an estimate of a six foot gorilla at 800 lbs [Reference: wikipedia], a forty foot gorilla may be conservatively estimated at over 80 tons (metric), accounting for purely the scalability of mass into three-space and not taking into account the bone and organ enlargement that would be required to make feasible the existence of such a gorilla. Even from the modest height of ten meters, with an (again conservative) estimate of an impact moment of under 0.1 s, this provides a force far exceeding that required to crush a cargo van even of reinforced titanium! This isn't calculus -- this is simple arithmetic! Surely the poor Beagly Beagly would be crushed every time Grape Ape lept on to his vehicle, ignoring entirely the effect of the lateral momentum on the van's dynamic stability. While I applaud you for this and other fine forays into the medium of animation, the blatant disregard of simple physics cannot be overlooked. In the future, please consult your fact-checkers, or my services may be sought by appointment. And I would implore you, Sirs, for the sake of your reputations, to issue an apology for your oversight in this matter.

A concerned and devoted fan,

Jeff Hammel