20:41 August 4, 2011

[Man walks in to gold and silver + walks up to the counter. Rick + Old Man are there]

Rick: It looks like you're coming to pawn something but I don't see anything

[Man pulls a stick of used chewing gum out of his mouth]

Old Man: Oh mai gawd!

[cut to fact board]

[back to g+s]

Rick: Were you looking to pawn or sell it?

Customer: Actually, I was just going to throw it in the trash but I'd like to sell it

Rick: Ha ha ha

[cut to Rick]

Rick: Used chewing gum isn't worth much, but if I can get it for the right price, I can make a profit, and that's what I'm after

[back to g+s]

Rick: So how much you want for it?

Customer: Well, new it was 25 cents. But I'll give it to you for ten

Rick: No. Look, its been in your mouth....its kinda disgusting really. [pause] I'll give you 2 cents for it

Customer: How about five? I've seen used chewing gum on ebay go for like a whole dollar.

Rick: I'm going to have to wash it off. That costs money. Look, I have to make a profit on it. Three. And not a penny more.

Customer: Would you go four?

Old Man: You're being a fool, Rick.

[Long pause with suspense]

Rick: Okay, I'll do four. But don't -- ew -- hand it to me. Just set it on this paper.

[Old man puts face in palm]

[Cut to Rick]

Rick: I know its an old piece of gum, but I am confident I can turn a profit on it. Or maybe I'll just give it to Chumlee and maybe that'll shut him up for awhile. Ha ha ha

[Cut to customer]

Customer: I was high on mescaline and just wandered into this pawn shop. I was just looking to throw my gum away but this crazy guy wanted to buy it. So yeah, I'm happy.

[Cut to Old Man]

Old Man: I have an idiot for a son.

FIN